Got a haircut. Check. I feel freshly fresh. I hate it when haircuts outgrow themselves, and yes I’m hugely self-conscious. I could easily see my former hair stylist in SF who is rather talented but sucky at customer service (I paid you 50 bucks for 20 minutes of your time? What about playful banter? Observations of the world around us? Bah.), but I have a chick I’ve been seeing in Sactown who is SF style without the SF price. And customer service is ON. I want to be her friend she’s so awesome.

Anyways, my biggest gripe about coming out this way is that it’s not my town, and more often than not, I’m stuck doing NOTHING. My twitter feed goes up, my blog reading goes up, blah. I do get some work done because my mother in law does a great job of hoarding baby time, but this weekend I didn’t have anything on my plate. I am left pretty much to my wits. My second gripe is that my diet is so wack (as in my food preferences, not diet diet) that I have a hard time getting my food on here. So I wind up eating chips, crap, and more crap that I have no business noshing on because there’s nothing I want to eat here.

I talked to my new BFF/hairstylist about where I can score some food, and she pointed me in the direction of the natural food co-op and I headed out. Freshly shorn, I have an attitude. I look good (fly, really), and I am out to get mine. Thankfully the co-op had everything I was looking for and more. I picked up enough food for myself, Bambina, and I wound up feeding the three boys who were playing Battlefield Bad Company 2 (great game, btw). Picked up some essential oils (lavender and eucalyptus). In essence, I’m a happy chick. I have food. Bambina has food. I’m shorn. I have downtime.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when though you wish they were. - Unattributed

Lessons? There are a couple:

When life hands you lemons, fuck the lemons. Normally I’m here because I have to be here. I have to be the good wife and let Husbandido do his thing, see the in laws and spend quality time with the peeps. I normally resist this time, but I have found ways to make it work for me. Need a babysitter? Check. Need to get work done? Check. Sure I hate the food, but I found a way to get around that. I found a market and I’m set. Oh and the haircut? Escape. BLAOW! Quit complaining and make that shit work for you. there’s no way it should be the other way around.

Fear is a bitch. Okay so I’ve travelled to many a city/state/country by myself. The only way I’m able to do that is to not be afraid. The best feeling is when you step off the plane and everything you know and everything you are used to is GONE. You are stripped of your identity, your language (at times), and your sureness. This is when I feel most alive. So rather than just keep my sphere of influence confined to the neighborhood (called “the Hood” in my 4sq.com feed), I have zero problem hopping into a car and driving to find a spot to call my own. If it sucks, move the hell away. Again, see point #1. Get out while you can. Because you can and you should. Husbandido is always surprised to see some of the stuff that I’ve shown him ABOUT HIS OWN TOWN. Geebus.

Surprises work best if you know what you’re doing. Funny thing about Husbandido is that he wanted to surprise his mom that we were coming up. So she didn’t know we were coming. Guess what, she had plans. Way to go! So she wanted to spend time with her grandchild only to find out that she had to work today. Nice.

There are plenty more as I think of it, but I’ll leave it at this. For what it’s worth…we all have shit we have to do that we are neither thrilled about or looking forward to. If you just handle your business, you’ll find that it’s not so bad at all. But you will need to do something about it instead of becoming the victim of your own circumstances.

Peace,

Char

This is my go to recipe for Pound Cake. If you ever want to make people really really happy, this is the recipe for you. And your house will smell delicious for hours.

Char

From The New Moosewood Cookbook, Mollie Katzen

Prep: 15 mins

Baking time: 50-60  mins

Yield: 12 to 16 servings.

Butter and flour for the pans

1 lb. (4 sticks) butter, softened

3 cups sugar

6 eggs

4 cups flour

1 Tbs. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1 cup milk

2 tsp. vanilla extract

1. preheat oven to 350F. Butter and flour the bottom and sides of a 10-inch tube or bundt pan.

2. in a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar with an electric mixer at high speed until light and fluffy.

3. add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Set aside.

4. Sift together the dry ingredients in a separate bowl.  Mix together the milk and vanilla. Add dry and wet alternately to butter mixture, beginning and ending with dry. Mix by hand - just enough to blend thoroughly without excess beating.

5. Spread the butter into the prepared pan. Bake 50-60 minutes or until a sharp knife inserted all the way down comes out clean. Allow to cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto a plate. Cool completely before slicing.

Someone asked me over lunch today to reflect over my last year of life, year 38 to be exact, and I said, “I had a kid.” They all just nodded. Changes everything, that mewling (and in a good way) little person who loves nothing more than to be played with, fed turkey sticks, and throwing things all over the place. It’s all good. It really is. I could talk about being a mommy all day, but I’ll save that for later.

The good thing, and I’ll keep this real simple for youse, is that as long as I feel like I don’t look, feel, or smell old, then I’m in good shape. You know what I mean. As long as I can say, “I’m 39,” and have people glare at me and say, “NO SHIT!” then it’s cool.

So here’s a short list of how you maintain the goods:

1. Moisturize yo’self. I say this all the time. Face moisturizer. Skin moisturizer. Don’t get ashy, don’t get cracked, don’t get wrinkly. Invest in some good moisturizer, and easily enough, it doesn’t cost $$$$ to get that way.
2. Get some good genes. If you don’t have ‘em by now you’re screwed. Sorry dude.
3. Drink water. Obvs. If you need more help on this, there’s a faucet. It’s free. Stop buying water, nerds.
4. SPF is crucial. The only leather you should have should be your purse, shoes or belt. Not your cheeks.
5. Smile. Smile lines are better than frown lines.
6. Cheap easy facelift for pictures. Tilt your chin up instead of down for pics. Gets rid of that pelican pouch you have underneath.
7. 2nd cheap easy facelift for pictures. When someone counts up to 3, look down for 1 and 2, then on time for “3” look up and smile. I swear by this.
8. This is often not said, and maybe for a good reason, but I’m going to say it anyway: “Quit stressing over stupid )(*&*&%^$#.” Eliminate that which is causing you stress, and you’ll feel better.
9. Get some sleep. All nighters = tired face = “You’re 39? thought you were 42.” Ouch.
10. Growing up means you have to look your part. No one wants to be the old guy at the club, but nothing says old guy at the club like outdated fits. Think classic when it comes to your gear, not trendy. You’re 39. Not 29. And certainly not 19. You can still be new hotness if you keep your gear in good condition. But if you want to be old and busted, go for it. Keeps me lookin’ good. You don’t have to dress like grandma, but you can still look fly even if you’re OG.
11. Don’t be afraid of growing “old.” I’ve found that when people are afraid, and they fight it tooth and nail, that’s when folks get all crazy trying to do this and that, and often times it looks just awful. People are not idjits, they know when you’ve tried to photoshop your grill with some magic surgery/face paint/etc. Accept the lines, accept the texture, and you’ll be a happier person, really.
12. Finally, repeat after me, “I’m good where I am, I’m happy with what I’ve got, and the next 39 will be just fine.” Because it will be. If you let it be.

Okay. Off to do #3, #5, #9, and mos def, #12.

Char

7/28 Update:

13. Exercise. Get off your ass and walk around. Does wonders for the well-being, not to mention your ass.